Late nights - RebelCaptain Oneshot
by starkosexual
Summary: One-shot. Cassian tells Jyn how he feels. Other take on how they end up going to Scarif. English is not my first language!


**_This one's for Sea Bass._**

Three days had past since the group had returned from Eadu. After the Senate decided it was best not to send troops to Scarif, Jyn had taken her distance, avoiding Cassian at all possible occasions. She hung out a great deal with Chirrut and Baze though, admiring their strong friendship. She'd never really had friends. It was always just her on her lonesome after her father was taken and her mother was murdered. When she was captured she had a lot of time to think. She fantasized about a life she could have lived. How it would be to live in an age without war. And in replacement came peace, friendship and most importantly: love. She admired those who had it. But she never actually had expected she would find it. _And in flew the images of his deep brown eyes, warming her soul like no other had ever done before._

It irritated her that he had this… effect on her. She was supposed to be upset and angry, but instead, she started developing feelings for the guy. She… liked him. From the beginning, they seemed to clash personalities, but he always managed to push her buttons. He knew what to do and knew what to say, to get her to wonder exactly: _why_ _is all I can think of how his lips would feel on mine. How his strong arms would shield me from all the misery that has yet to arrive._ His eyes seemed to stare deep into her soul and understand what she was feeling. He understood. Not many understood what she had gone through, not many were abandoned at such a young age. And still, she couldn't get over herself and forgive him. It was stupid. Because in the end: he didn't pull the trigger. He was disobeying orders. He wasn't the one who killed her father.

But her pride stood in her way.

The moon shone brightly this night. Lately, Jyn had trouble sleeping at night. Once she closed her eyes, her father would come to mind. Flashbacks of the night at Eadu would arise and haunt her for hours after she woke up. So now, she tried to avoid her grey, metal chamber at Yavin 4 and alternately sit in the open field among the big trees.

It was there when she felt his presence behind her.

And she was determined to beat around the bush and be the first to speak, to let him know she knew he was there.

"Why?" She wondered, startling him a bit.

He slowly sat down beside her, a little too close to let it seem like they were just friendly. His warmth radiating towards her. Silence ruled for an abundance of seconds. Then, he spoke, ever so soft; as if it was a secret. "I don't know."

She let her eyes fall shut, disappointed in the answer he gave her. Disappointed in herself she actually thought he had a reason.

But then, he surprised her.

"It would be a lie to say I haven't killed before. I have. For the Rebellion. I did the most dreadful of things in the name of the Rebellion. And every time when it was done, I told myself it was for the Rebellion. But that night at Eadu, I asked myself if I was still doing it for the right cause." He took a deep breath, secretly also taking in a bit of her scent. Something he'd missed over the last few days, and it was hard to admit that fact to himself.

She turned her head towards him, her eyes focusing on his, encouraging him to continue.

He looked away, not being able to look at her. She had a bigger impact on him than he felt comfortable with. "It wasn't worth the pain I would feel after. The disgust I would feel when I would later review my past actions. It wasn't worth the sleepless nights it would provide." He inched a bit closer, their knees now touching. "And then I saw you."

She moved her hand up to trace his jaw and let it rest there for a couple of seconds, she smiled. _His beard feels so funny, the hairs slightly massaging her palm made her feel at ease._ Realizing she was actually touching his face, she retracted her hand quickly, chastising herself for letting herself go, and brought it back to her other hand, resting her elbows on her knees. The color red rose to her cheeks, embarrassment written all over her body language as she created some distance, breaking the connection to his body. The awkward tension that was evident made the silence almost unbearable. Two minds, who both wanted the same thing, but were both too afraid to express it. After a minute, she stood up and started walking back to the base.

Cassian's face dropped. He felt colder without her body so close to him, and all he could think about at that moment was that he didn't want the warmth to leave. So he stood up and sped up his pace to catch up with her and grabbed her hand in his, turning her body around and pulling it flush against his. He bent his head down and met her astounded stare. Their noses touched, their lips inches apart. "Don't avoid me. Not again." His irregular breathing giving away how vulnerable he felt, and his voice somewhat breaking.

She closed her eyes, this felt so _right_. And before she would think too much about the situation, she closed the gap between their mouths and kissed him. He let her hand go and replaced his hands to her neck, to draw her in even more. He wanted to be as close to her as possible. She tugged her hand in his hair and kissed him again. And again. After a minute or two, she slowly disconnected their lips to breath. Their patched breaths filled the silence of the night, still coming down from the high they just experienced.

"I'm sorry about what I said on our way back to Yavin 4. I didn't entirely mean what I said." He whispered, confessing what he felt needed to be said. "I came here to you because I wanted to let you know," he gently angled her chin up so she would look at him. He brushed his thumb over her lower lip, smiling softly and quickly focused on her eyes again. "I believe you."


End file.
